Beyond Words

“Is it sinful to have doubts?” asked a person dear to me.

Almost without stopping to consider, I answered, “No. Doubts are one way we use our God-given intellect and critical thinking skills.”

“But doubts scare me,” she said.

I didn’t have a pat answer for that one, but we went on to discuss the subtle difference between belief and faith. I explained my work-in-progress definition: faith should take a person deeper into truth and reality. If faith requires believing something that creates cognitive dissonance and conflicts with the real world, then it’s not faith. It’s something else–belief-ism or belief-olatry. And the cognitive dissonance can create fear which, as Scripture tells us, not want God wants for us.

An example of beliefi-ism is taking the warnings from a few Scriptures and constructing a paradigm that only Christians can do good things (because we have the Holy Spirit) and that everything non-believers do is hopelessly immoral (because they don’t have the Holy Spirit). Even though most of us know that’s just not true, we’re stuck trying to make sense of the incongruency. Sometimes all we can do is try harder to believe it because we’re afraid NOT believing it is a sin.

But what would happen if we took a step of faith deeper into reality instead of retreating behind a wall of beliefism? Might we find ways to build relationships with nonbelievers instead of isolating and fearing them? Might we come to understand the rhetorical genius of Scripture’s sound warnings without being paralyzed by them?

A friend of mine gave me an acronym for fear. False Expectations Appearing Real, or, alternatively, False Expectations About Reality.

Sometimes the only way we can test our assumptions about reality is to go deeper by faith. And I think faith always leads to congruency with reality, so there’s nothing to fear.

Posted on September 10th, 2008 by Kathy
Filed under: Living by Faith | No Comments »

…I were nominated as Vice President of the United States.

I say this, of course, in light of Sarah Palin’s nomination and the subsequent revelations about her family.

I agonize for her because I know what they could dig up on me if I were in her shoes. There’s enough grist for the rumor mill from the past three months of my extended family life alone to keep liberals and conservatives slobbering for the next four years.

In reality, my family’s not in imminent danger from this sort of embarrassment. I’ll probably never run for public office, mainly because I’ve never learned to toe the party line. I abhor campaign rhetoric’s empty-headed fervor and its false dichotomies disguised as truth. And I’d rather model my convictions, and inspire people from the grassroots level, than exert influence from the top.

I wouldn’t stand for being drawn into bizarre caricatures of issues that are beyond the scope of the executive branch of government. And defining myself according to the realities of the office would make a very boring campaign.

But since the pundits would have a field day digging up my dirt, they’d never get around to asking me my stance on the issues, anyway.

So, I’ll keep doing what I’m already doing at the obscure, local level on the basis of my convictions .

And my family can breathe a sigh of relief while the pundits slink away to find a new victim.

Posted on September 2nd, 2008 by Kathy
Filed under: Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

Like most people on the planet, I carry childhood scars (and not a few adult ones) from being told I’m not quite good enough. I was always a close runner-up to somebody who was better. For example, in elementary school, I was considered almost as pretty as Michelle Martin and the second best artist compared to Suzanne Frazier.

Being second best so often, I’m haunted by a whispering little voice of low self-esteem. For example, for the past four years, I’ve been a free-lance reporter for the the weekly section of the Des Moines Register covering my community. I love the work and a lot of people tell me my articles are the first thing they look for every Thurdsay. But the little voice of low self esteem always tells me “real jouranlists know writing for a weekly is a job for someone who isn’t good enough to get a job with a daily.”

A couple of weeks ago, I learned the section plans to stop printing hard copy and publish solely online. Although my editor reassured me I’d still have work, the little voice of low self esteem told me the online version wouldn’t last. So, with great trepidation and a transient lack of sanity, I picked up the phone and called the editor of the local daily paper.

He invited me in for an interview. The little voice told me, “He’s just being polite. I’m sure he reads your work in the Life & Times every week and rolls his eyes and snickers at your amateurism. But he’s not the kind of fellow to cut you off at the knees over the phone. He’d rather do that face to face.”

Certain that the interview would require agressive self promotion, I rehearsed my pitch a thousand times. The biggest obstacle I imagined between myself and a contract was my lack of a journalism degree (they’re are a dime a dozen in this university town). So, I practiced telling the story of how a friend recommended me to the editor of the Life & Times four years ago even though I’d never written a news story in my life. To prepare for that interview, I researched the elements of feature stories and fabricated one from the sketchily recalled details of my hairdresser’s ironic bump against the glass ceiling in the world of cosmetology. For good measure, I threw in a few clips of corporate writing from my portfolio. The editor said simply, “I like your work. You’re hired.”

But the little voice of low self-esteem told me this interview would be in a whole different league. I would be sitting down with the editor of a big daily paper with a growing readership. The best I could hope for was to show up well-groomed with a few carefully collected samples of my best work.

So I hopped on my bike and pedalled down to the newspaper office. Just after I parked the bike and slipped off the riding shorts I was wearing under my skirt, I looked up to see the editor standing in front of the building catching a bit of fresh air. With a sparkle in his eye and a genuinely warm smile on his face, he asked, “Are you a biker, too? You parked your bike right next to mine.”

He took me into his office and opened with, “I hear the Life & Times is changing. What does that mean for you?” And then he told me about the freelance opportunities that were opening up for his paper.

Just like that. I was hired.

“I thought I’d have to pitch myself,” I said.

“I follow your work,” he said.

And the little voice of low self-esteem went away.

Posted on August 26th, 2008 by Kathy
Filed under: Journalism | 14 Comments »

In my inbox yesterday, a testament to the perceived power of Internet social networking

Hello there,

I don’t know if you’ve heard of the Fresh Air Fund before but I need your help. We’re already well into July and I have 200 children who have yet to be placed with host families for August. Since you blog about religion and faith, I would love your help getting the word out that we need host families who will welcome a child from the city into their homes next month.

Since we need all prospective families screened and vetted by the end of July, time is of the essence. I could really use your help. To make everything simple, I’ve set up an online resource page with everything you need to blog or learn more,

This is so time-sensitive and important to the lives of these children, I want to help you in any way I can. This appeal comes straight from the top, so please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any further questions or need anything at all.

Thank you so very much,
Sara

Sara Wilson
Fresh Air Fund
sara@freshair.org

P.S. The host cities are all in the East, so if you live somewhere else, please consider visiting the Web site and making a donation.

Posted on July 16th, 2008 by Kathy
Filed under: Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

My husband has gone over to the Dark Side:

Starbucks-

Even though it forced

his favorite locally-owned coffee shop out of business–

(Conspiracy theories abound as to why the City approved

a Drive-up Window lane for Starbucks

but not for home-grown boy Jeremiah Redmond)–

After months of resistance, my husband

put one foot on the slippery slope

and fell all the way from grace.

All it took was a Vente Latte, iced

with two Splendas.

“I feel like I’m on vacation

When I go to Starbucks,” he said.

“Like when we go to Denver or Boulder

or Altanta.”

He made me go with him.

But at least I’m reusing my clear, plastic 16 oz. cup

with the Starbucks logo and

the fat, green straw

for my morning brew of

iced Bugisu direct trade coffee.

Let there be light.

Posted on June 19th, 2008 by Kathy
Filed under: Thursday's Child, Family | 3 Comments »